FY's Fiddler on the Roof
by raeka-chan
Summary: ParodyOC When FY performs fiddler on the roof, or tries to, all havoc breaks loose. WARNING: occasional crossovers between Inuyasah and Ranma 12
1. Chapter 1

Fushigi Yuugi's Fiddler on the Roof

**Disclaimer:** Hai! . this is my first fic that I will post...ano…:blush: Fushigi Yuugi and all of its characters belong to Yû Watase-san…and I am grateful that I am able to write about them! . also..i do not own Fiddler on the roof, _its_ characters, or anything in it. I hope you enjoy this!

**2 hours before curtain call**

The audience talked excitedly in the theatre, the rich red and gold tapestries brightly illuminated by the house lights. The heavy velvet curtain was closed and an intense air of expectation hung over the crowd. Backstage, the same air of excitement was everywhere. Well, almost everywhere.

"How th' HELL did I get inta this," grumbled Tasuki. "What play is this anyway!"

Chiriko, fully dressed, turned to the fiery red head. "Tasuki no baka, this is Fiddler on the Roof!"

Annoyed, Tasuki scowled and scuffed the floor with his boot. "Th' hell is this thing about?" he growled. At this, Chiriko's eyes lit up at the chance to show off how much he knew. Assuming a pose the youngest seishi cleared his throat. Tasuki sweat dropped as what looked to be a mini lighting design show began to play behind him.

deep breath "Fiddler on the roof is set in the little village of Anatevka in the turn of the twentieth century in Russia. The beginning of the twentieth century was a time of great upheaval and change in Russia. The people try to hold onto the tradition that they have so firmly followed and believed in. You should try to research and be familiar with turn of the century Czarist Russia and it's-"

The young boys sermon was cut off as Tasuki, in desperation slapped a hand over his mouth and shoved the youngest seishi into an obliging trash can.

"Goddammit, thought he was fin' never gonna end!"

"Tasuki!" called a deep voice. Turning, the bandit saw the tall figure of the Suzaku doctor enter the room.

"Have you seen Chiriko anywhere?" he questioned, scanning the room. The trash can began to rock and Tasuki quickly gave it a hard kick.

"Uh…no! Nope! Haven't seen him at all!" He said, flashing Mitsukake his most charming fanged grin while sweating nervously. The doctor gave him a sad, concerned look and turned to leave in search of the youngest seishi.

"If you see him, tell him that the director wants to see him." Tasuki tried to look as innocent as possible, failing miserably.

"Ya, sure, I'll tell em'!"-

When he was gone, the young bandit heaved a sigh of relief and sank into a nearby chair.

"Tasuki?"

Surprised, the bandit spun, falling off his chair with a splat waving his arms around.

"He's not here! I don't have him! I didn't do it!"

Miaka stood there, dressed in Fiddler garb, stunned by his reaction, a sweat drop forming.

"Tasuki? Are- Are you all right?" Embarrassed and furious at himself, the bandit fumed slightly in a corner with the dust bunnies.

"O-okay…." Miaka said, slowly backing out of the room. After she left, Tasuki sighed glumly, giving the trashcan a shake.

"Right' Chiriko, ya can come out now." When there was no response, Tasuki lifted off the lid, peering inside "Yo, Chiriko…ya' alive in there?" He inquired, his voice echoing slightly. When the young seishi didn't respond, Tasuki slowly put the lid back on the trashcan, a look of horror slowly spreading across his face. "Oh boy, Suzaku is not gonna be happy about this…Chichiri! CHICHIRI!" yelped the bandit as he ran off for the monk leaving Chiriko in his trashcan.

sry this is it for now, parents need me off and i cant type fast enough... so i hope to update the rest soon! ja!


	2. Chapter 2!

**Authors Note:** (gomen!) Hi! Its me again. sry this is taking so long but…

**Raebef-chan:** Oye... . get to the point nee-chan no baka…

**Raeka-chan:** wahhh..> ..i ammmm…..

Anyway (z-chan is being so cold .) today I realized that I forgot to tell anyone this, but I wrote this fic a few years ago… I found it in an old journal and I decided to post this story..once I am done with this I will move onto my normal stuff, so gomen!

**Raebef-chan:** Thank you nee-chan, I knew you could do it…

**Raeka-chan:** Hai...'

* * *

Here we go! 

>> Meanwhile in the Seiryu dressing rooms…

"Brother, why are you the fiddler?"

Amiboshi looked up from cleaning his flute to meet the concerned eyes of his twin. He smiled, placing the flute beside him.

"Because, I am the best musician." He said importantly.

"Silence fool!" Thundered Nakago as he appeared in the room. "It is because you are the only musician!" then he disappeared to go get more "energy" from Soi.

After a moment of silence and a few sweat drops, Suboshi sighed, drawing up a chair beside his twin.

"But that is why I ask." He continued. "You play the flute, not the violin! So you would be the flutists on the roof, not the fiddler!" When his older brother said nothing, he became angrier. "It's probably those Suzaku jerks." He growled, jerking his thumb in the direction of the Suzaku dressing rooms.

"I doubt it." Amiboshi said as he stood. Suboshi, disappointed, sat back down and pouted at a lost opportunity to use his meteor balls and inflict his wrath on just about anyone he could reach. Footsteps snapped the depressed Seiryu warrior back as Yui entered, dressed in her costume with her script tucked under her arm. She smiled and the twins both jumped up, simultaneously crying "Y-Yui-sama!"

Turning to Suboshi, she ducked her head shyly.

"Suboshi! I was wondering …would you like to go over lines with me?" she said, blushing slightly. If Yui was blushing it was nothing compared to Suboshi who now resembled a red tomato.

"O-Of course Yui-sama!" he stuttered, leaping forward. At the door, he looked back at his brother who smiled and waved his hand, then went back to cleaning his flute.

>>

Chichiri was meditating happily in his darkened room, wondering if there was ever going to be peace within Suzaku. The next, and last, thing he saw was a fiery, red haired demon hitting him dead on.

"Chichiri! Wake up dammit!" yelled Tasuki, shaking the stunned monk.

"Daaa…" was all he got. Slinging his over his shoulder, he sprinted back towards Chiriko, bumping into Nuriko.

"What did you do to Chichiri?" the purple haired warrior yelled to the retreating form of Tasuki.

"I think I killed Chiriko!" he yelled back.

"Oh." Said Nuriko, thinking about that for a moment before sprinting after the bandit, causing techies to throw themselves out of his way. As they reached the room, the bandit dumped the unconscious monk on the floor and immediately grabbed the trashcan. Nuriko skidded to a halt to find Tasuki bent over the trashcan. Stepping over the prone form of the monk, he cautiously approached his seemingly ailing friend.

"Uh…Tasuki? Are you going to be sick?"

The fanged warrior spun around with the trashcan, pointing inside.

"Chiriko."

Taking a step back, Nuriko gave the trashcan a hard look. Then,

"Chiriko's going to be sick?"

Tasuki swore in exasperation and explained the problem. When he was done, Nuriko

nodded in understanding, gazing inside the trashcan.

"Oh Tassssssukiiiiiiii!" The cross dresser sang out to the bandit who was slumped

against the wall.

"What?" he mumbled.

"I think he's stuck in the trashcan!" he informed him. With a cry of exasperation,

Tasuki jumped up.

"This would be so much easier if Chichiri was awake!" he yelled.

"Daaaa!" said the monk as he popped up, scaring the hell out of the two seishi.

"What did I miss na no da?"

Wordlessly, the two warriors pointed to the barrel, Sizing up the situation, the monk

murmured an incantation under his breath and the trashcan disappeared. Moving

swiftly, Chichiri caught Chiriko in his arms, safely lowering him to the ground.

"What happened here, no da?" he asked seriously, looking straight at Tasuki. Nuriko

edged sideways out of the room as his surrogate brother twitched and fryed under

the oldest Suzaku seishi's glare.

"Did you so this Tasuki…?" he asked softly. Gritting his teeth, the fifth seishi raised

his head, locking gazes with Chichiri.

"Yeah…I did it." He said softly. Chichiri laughed, causing Tasuki's mood to swing from

remorseful to confused to angry in 1.2 seconds. "What th' hell is funny 'Chiri?" he

grumbled.

"Nothing, no da!" said the monk. I was just surprised that Chiriko was still alive if you

had done it, no da!"

At his words, Tasuki felt relief rather then anger.

"So…So he's alright?" he asked, gazing at Chiriko's still form.

"Perfectly fine, no da!" he said. "He just passed out no da!" Tasuki heaved a sigh of

Relief as Chichiri, grabbing his staff. "Now I suggest that you and Nuriko get into

costume." He said. "The play starts in half and hour no da!" With a small pop the

monk vanished, leaving the three Suzaku standing there (or lying there in Chiriko's

case). Turning to Nuriko, Tasuki sighed.

"Who th' hell are you in this play anyway?"

Nuriko grinned. "I play Tzeital, Tevya's oldest daughter! And I marry my darling

Hotohori!"

Tasuki bowed his head sadly at the thought.

"What about you, Tas-chan?" . Nuriko asked. "Who do you play?"

Checking his book, Tasuki read, "Mendel, the Constable an' the fiddler." Nuriko

nodded and turned to leave, calling back, "When Chiriko wakes up, tell me!"

When he was gone Tasuki grumbled and dragged the prone form of Chiriko outside

his door. "Th' hell does he weigh so much!" and shut the door to change.

* * *

**Raeka-chan:** wahhh…. . ..this is the most I can do right now…gomen! GOMEN! I 

apologize..I apologize to the world….IM SORRRYYYYYYYYYYY….bawls

**Raebef-chan:** …

Anyway..once again..im out of time..but please review so I can change this fic so that it is

Better.. even tho I wrote it a long time ago..I would still like to fix it. arigato for

Waiting! . :blush:

>> In the next chapter….The Seiryu (especially Tomo) realize why it is that they do not

belong to Suzaku… until then…ja!


	3. Chapter 3!

Authors note:

**Raeka-chan:** T.T o god..gomen asai! Im hoping….im hoping that this will be it….thank you for waiting! -blush-

**Raebef-chan:** Hn… (leaves blow in the background)

Meanwhile, elsewhere…

"Oh look at all the people that have come to admire us!" Exclaimed Hotohori as he peeped out at the audience. "They love us, they truly do!" There were stars in his eyes.

"But…" he frowned, screwing up his face as he thought. "…we are confused as to why we must wear such clothing?"

Miboshi sighed, straightening his clothing.

"Because," he said tiredly, "this is what they wore back then, baka." Tomo sniggered and Hotohori turned to him in haughty disgust.

"I wouldn't be laughing, Yussel the hatter." He scoffed; his imperial nose in the air as he gazed back out at the audience.

Tomo, bored, wandered into the darker folds of the curtained area, almost walking in on a love scene between, you guessed it, Tamahome and Miaka.

"Tamahome."

"Miaka."

"Tamahome."

"Miaka."

"Tamahome."

Gagging, Tomo did his best to stop from throwing up backstage. Miboshi turned, and; seeing the reaction of his fellow warrior; laughed. As Tomo staggered off, Minoshi muttered, "And that is why we are celestial warriors of Seiryu and not Suzaku."

In Tasuki's dressing room, the lights were turned off. Silently, a figure carried something out of the room. As the door opened the light from the hallway caught the figure, illuminating a young man with something tucked under his arm. Then the door closed and he was gone.

25 minutes before curtain call.

As Amiboshi walked by the main board, he saw that a crowd had gathered around it, talking in excited voices. In the crowd he saw Seiryu and Suzaku warriors jostling for positions as they read a sheet that had been posted. Cries of outrage and amusement rang out as the cast members read.

In a corner, Soi was grumbling to Tomo who nodded gleefully.

"His wife?" she was shrieking as he listened. "Why would I ever marry the f#ed up, perverted little monk!" She howled in outrage. Tomo, grinning manically, sniggered.

"Yeah, what would Nakago say about it?" He sniggered, eyes closed happily.

If the Seiryu warrior thought that Soi couldn't get any angrier, he was wrong. Amiboshi sighed and turned away, wincing as the sounds of lightning striking repeatedly filled the air. Peals of laughter made him turn his attention back to the remaining warriors.

Amiboshi sweat dropped as he saw Nuriko hanging on the arm of the Emperor Hotohori who was struggling in vain as the seishi gripped him in a vise-like hug. In good spirits, he had returned the hug but now, he flailed desperately in Nuriko's embrace. Lost in his own happy, obsessed world, he was oblivious to his love's struggles.

"Nuri….can't…………lungs….." death/darkness/dying…

Smiling, Nuriko looked up, batting his startlingly large violet eyes.

"Where you saying something, Hoti-baby?" He crooned.

Hotohori gave a death rattle and Nuriko immediately released him. Collapsing to his hands and knees, the emperor gasped for breath as Nuriko grinned sheepishly.

"Whoops! Sorry Hoti-baby!"

The emperor blinked, trying to clear his visions of the red dots, recalling the white light he had just seen.

"Nuriko…try to remember how string you are! Our whole lives just flashed before our eyes!"

"Amiboshi!"

The Seiryu warrior turned at his name, tearing his eyes from the scene before him. Miboshi floated in front of him, grinning at his dazed expression.

"Have you seen the program yet?" he asked, floating towards the board. Interested, Amiboshi followed him. "What program?" he asked.

"The plays program." Miboshi replied, pointing at the thing everyone had been reading.

As Amiboshi read, he smirked in amusement at Soi's part, rolled his eyes at the Suzaku, laughed at Nakago's part- "Suits him well." Miboshi said. – then…

"I…I don't understand!" The quieter twin spluttered in indignation.

Surprised, Miboshi turned and read over the enraged Seiryu warriors shoulder.

"Fiddler Amiboshi/….Tasuki?" he finished in surprise. "Why is-"

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Amiboshi yelled angrily. "BUT BY SEIRYU I INTEND TO FIND OUT!" he thundered off, leaving a shocked and surprised Miboshi staring after him.

"Ee-ya. Someone has a flute stuck up his-"

Thankfully Miboshi's tasteful comment was interrupted by the arrival of Nakago.

As the warrior read the program, Miboshi sweated, inching his way out of the room. As he read his part, Nakago's eyes glinted dangerously and his blue life force blazed.

"A….butcher…" he said softly. "This will have to be…taken care of."

Authors note:

**Raeka-chan:** Bwahhhhhh… ….-sniff-

**Rabef-chan:** … Translation: im sorry i did not finish this chapter, there is more, please be patient and I will finish as soon as I possibly can, and thank you for reviewing! This chapter is in 2 parts, so it will hopefully be continued by tomorrow….thank for waiting!

**Raeka-chan:** …..-sniff-

**Raebef-chan:** there there… -hands Rae-chan a tissue-


	4. Chapter 4!

**Raeka-chan: **Hai! Arigato for waiting for this next chapter!

**Raebef-chan: **Hn.

Disclaimer: as a challenge, I have been forced to involve a slight crossover. Just a warning! Please hang on.

* * *

"So much to do, so little time!"

The director was making his rounds, tapping on the doors of the dressing rooms as he went.

"Ah, Chichiri! Glad you're ready! Your on in fifteen!"

"Daaaaa!" replied the monk who was reading his lines.

Moving on, the director opened the next door.

"Nuriko? Are you rea-"

"Ah! Director-sama! I'm soooo excited!" squealed the cross dresser as he latched onto the directors arm.

"No…Nuriko…I can't…feel my fingers…"

"Huh? Oh, sorry director-sama." Nuriko immediately let go of his arm, blushingly slightly.

"No…problem…Nuriko…." He replied, gritting his teeth against the pain. "You're…on in….fifteen." He said as he left.

More cautiously now he opened the next door to find Mitsukake dressed and meditating in his room.

"Mitsukake, we're on in fifteen!" he said, relieved that at least one of the Suzaku warriors was sane. At his words, the doctor opened his eyes. As he took in the harassed director holding his arm, he sighed, raising an eyebrow.

"Nuriko?" He asked, saying his fellow seishi's name as though that was not the first time he had unintentionally injured someone. Taking his arm, Mitsukake closed his eyes and second later…

"Done." The director smiled gratefully, flexing his arm experimentally. After thanking the doctor, he turned and left, closing the door behind him. Pausing in the hallway he gazed down at the multiple dressing rooms he still had to visit and sobbed. "Why me?"

The next room was empty. Sighing, he closed the door bracing himself for the next scene. Grabbing the next handle, he opened it, and…

"Tamahome."

"Miaka."

"Tamahome."

"Miaka."

"Tamahome"

"Miaka."

"Tama-oh! Hi director-sama!" Yelped Miaka, causing the aforesaid director to sweatdrop.

"Yes…ah, well…I…"

"Miaka."

"Shut up a moment Tamahome."

"Uh…yes…umm we go on in fifteen…" He finished lamely. As he left, he closed the door, his face a light shade of red. As he left, Miaka turned to Tamahome, batting her eyes.

"Now…where were we?"

"Miaka."

"Tamahome."

Tasuki sat in a chair, holding his head in his hands.

"How th' hell did I get inta this." He muttered for the second time that day.

A soft knock on his door jerked him back as he stuffed the violin out of sight.

"Hai?" he called as the door opened, and emitted the nervous looking director. The two of them locked gazes, theme music bubbling in the background as they nodded in understanding in a moment of truth.

"Damn. Ya' look like shit."

The music screeched to a stop.

"Thank you, Tasuki."

"Yer welcome." Closing the door, the director sank gratefully into the fifth seishi's chair, pulling a kerchief from his back pocket and wiping his face.

"Tasuki, your on in ten."

The red head sighed, looking down at his feet, his cap set at a rakish angle.

"Does Amiboshi know yet?"

The director looked at him, giving a short nod. Tasuki sighed and broke eyes contact.

"Tasuki, I know you can do it."

With this, he turned , opening the door and closing it behind him. Slowly, Tasuki picked up the violin. Looking in the mirror he gave a fanged grin.

"Well if everybody has ta know, I guess now is as good ah way as any other."

* * *

It was time, A hush had descended on the house as the no talking, no cellphones/photography speech rang through the speakers.

The running crew was scrambling everywhere, checking and double checking everything. Techies were pinning bugs on all the actors as up in the rafters, more techs flashed the a-ok as they got into position to man the lights.

Apart from everybody else, a lone figure stood high on a roof in the pre-show darkness. The last of the checks had been administered and the audience was silent.

'Godammit Suzaku! Hope ta hell there all ready for us ta knock th' god-damned sox off em'!" The figure thought.

Then, he raised his bow, slowly pulling his fiddle into his embrace. An air of expectancy, as slowly the bow made contact with the strings. Everyone, the actors waiting for the cue, the techs, the running crew, the director, the audience, and the fiddler, breathed in as the fiddlers's fingers touvhed the fingerboard, setting in the position, a silent vibrato, and then…

_Da da da da da da.._

_Da da da da da da…_

_Da da da da da da…_

_Da da da da da da… _

…The spot light snapped onto the fiddler, whose cap was low, hiding his face. The actors backstage tried to see but couldn't. On cue, Chichiri/Tevya spoke. His mask was off as the audience was pulled into the story.

Chichiri gazed at the fiddler, arm extended.

"A fiddler on the roof. Sound crazy, no no da? But in our little village of Anetevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof no da, trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. And how do we keep our balance no da? That I can tell you in a word- tradition no da!"

Backstage, Miaka turned to Nuriko.

"Is he supposed to be saying 'no da'?" she asked. Nuriko only had time to shrug before the line danced onto the stage.

"TRADITION, TRADITION!

TRADITION! TRADITION!"

As rehersed, the Suzaku and Seiryu formed into four separate groups, men, women, sons and daughters. Tomo, near the end turned to Mitsukake who wasnext to him.

"Have you seen the two guest stars yet?" he whispered.

When the doctor shook his head, Tomo winced.

"There crazy," he whispered urgently. "The girls name is Shampoo. She's and insane amazon warrior!"

Try as he might, Mitsukake could not help from sniggering. Before the Seiryu warrior could explain, the doctor was jabbed from behind with something sharp jabbed into the small of his back. Freezing, he tried to remain as still as possible.

"Move stupid man." A female voice hissed form behind him. "Play no wait for you!"

He was released, but before he could turn, his line began to move out onto the stage. The play had just started, and already he knew it might be the longest performance of their lives.


End file.
